I'm still playing the waiting game regarding treatment--not sure why I haven't been scheduled for radiation treatments. Monday I'll call the Cancer Center and talk to the social worker. Rather than stressing, which is my usual mode, I'll use her to advocate. I've finally realized it's time for some changes and actually doing those things that relieve the anxiety and stress and upset and it feels...great. I met with a Legal Aid attorney to work out a will and such and figure out power of attorney so that the kid is covered when I die with regard to my portion of the house and what few assets I've squirreled away for her. It wasn't nearly as scary as I thought it was going to be and again, after 2 years of avoidance, it felt...great.
I finally broke down and found someone trustworthy to help with me some hobby stuff. I'd been holding off--not because I didn't trust this person to help, but because I ...you know, it's hard to describe...I've no clue. Finally crying 'HELP' felt wonderfully freeing. Getting the aid felt even better and it's a major load off my mind. Again, just asking felt...great. Sometimes you have to realize when your independence is hurting you and just..ask.
Nothing is perfect, and nothing has changed really but in the last day or so I just feel as if no matter what, it's going to be okay and nothing and no one is going to get to me.
Current Mood: relaxed